December 21, 2009
The New Year is coming upon us quickly and it’s time to start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. Of course the popular ones include weight loss, quit smoking, drinking, or any other vice you may have. But, how many of us actually follow through on those resolutions?
Well, this year I am determined to make mine stick. It might be cliché but I am going to lose weight (again). I am currently at the heaviest weight I have ever been at. I have yet to determine if I will share that number with you. On one hand I have my privacy and dignity to think about, and on the other hand I’m here putting it all out for you to read, so why shouldn’t I put that number in big bold numbers? Come January 1st I suppose I better have an answer to that.
For the entirety of my life I have had a weight and body image problem. Most women do, I suppose. Weight became a problem once I hit college and then even more after I married the wrong guy at 21 and then divorced said guy 18 months later. I managed to shed some of the marriage weight I had packed on, and then just when I didn’t think a man was in my future one walked right into my life. (Not that I wasn’t looking of course. I had to find a way to get laid after some 18 months of no sex, right?) I fell in love with Jon immediately. When we became engaged I instantly booked a trainer and became a dieter with a mission. I looked pretty great at our wedding, loosing some 50 pounds mostly with hard work and little to eat.
We settled into married life for a good month or so and then became pregnant. I relished the joys of hunger again, and enjoyed my midnight trips to Taco Bell (my husband’s trips). At only 3 or 4 months in I was told to not gain anymore weight. WHAT!? I thought that was what pregnancy was all about? Just because I’m a fat girl doesn’t mean I shouldn’t relish in the joys of pregnancy! WRONG! Hypertension and fatigue kicked in quick, and I again was the on looker of food. So, with all I had to worry about even more piled on with an incompetent cervix, and a long term stay in bed at the hospital. At 6 months in I gave birth to my baby girl 14 weeks early. More stress came more weight.
So, here we are about 18 months later (odd number for me) and my little girl is healthy as a horse and growing more and more, along with my waistline. So, since Jon and I are suckers for punishment we want another baby. Yes, even after the aftermath of all of our baby drama. But, the only catch is I HAVE TO BE HEALTHY. Meaning, I have to lose weight in order to pack it on again for a baby. It’s all very complicated, but I’m sure it makes plenty of sense to you plus sized mommies out there.
So, I sit before you declaring my war on fat and begin this blog. Each day I will post my workout and the food I eat. I will be brutally honest about my cheating, because let’s face it I have little will power. And I will commit to myself and you that the weight will come off. Now, to just get motivated.
Posted by Rebekah