Weight Lose = -7 pounds
Total weight loss = 37.6 pounds
BMI – 35.7
Body Fat % - 36.9%
Total body fat lost = 7.9%
Body Fat %: 44.8%
Target body fat – 27%
Target/Predicted weight – 179.8 lbs
***I didn’t get a chance to get my measurements this week after my weigh-in or take a picture, so I will post those in the next post tonight or tomorrow.***
For those of you who are not on facebook, I did not win the biggest loser contest. Originally after my weigh-in I became so excited for my results that I felt like I had already won the contest. I was in 2nd place, and due to win the second prize. As long as no one came in and took out the person ahead of me, I’d be the 2nd winner. Then, at noon I was informed that this is exactly what happened. Someone weighed in and had a higher weight loss percentage then the person ahead of me, taking me out of second place and into third. I was devastated. All the excitement I had for my results, for my hard work, just flew out the door. It was never conceived in my mind that I wasn’t going to win. I had worked so hard for the past 9 weeks, and felt like I had made a huge effort to make sure I was going to win. But, two people did better then me. I couldn’t even comprehend how to react. It was a complete loss of something important to me, and I went through all the stages of grief. I am still grieving, and lost a huge part of my confidence in myself due to this. It is no one’s fault, and I have to be okay with that fact that I didn’t finish first. I have to appreciate the work I put in, and see it for what it truly is - a success.
About 12 weeks ago is when I decided I was going to do this contest. I felt completely led by the Holy Spirit, that this weigh loss journey was not over and I had to complete something before going onto another path in my life. I kept feeling like this is what God wanted me to do, that I was to win the contest and have confidence in myself and my abilities. I knew the 50 pound weigh loss goal was an unattainable goal, but again it wasn’t just pulled out of thin air, it was from God. I began to read scripture on how my body was a temple and I had to treat it that way, and how anything I did I did for the greater glory of God. All of these messages came to me and made me see myself as someone who was going to take on this contest full force. Along the way I struggled, just like any journey, and so many people came alongside me to encourage me and lift me up to keep reaching for my goals. I slowly saw the ability I had to do the same for those in the contest who were struggling much more then I, those who were just beginning their weight loss journey. I ran next to them, told them my story, and gave them tips. I never once told someone they couldn’t do it, I just always made them see their abilities. By week 8 of the contest I had a support group of people who cheered me on, ran with me, encouraged me, and became closer in friendships then I had ever expected in such a short time. I ran a 5K, I worked out with professional athletes and trainers, and I did it all without stopping; complaining; or just not being able to do it. So, once the anger and sadness lessened from my loss, I realized something very important that God was really trying to teach me. I wasn’t in this contest to win; I was in this contest to help others and to find connections with people who needed my guidance and encouragement. I was guided into this contest not to win, but to lose and to see that I can make an effort so strong that other people will follow my lead. That this is how I should lead my life in all that I do, not just in my exercise and weight loss, but in my spiritual life; my family life; and everything that surrounds me.
I am not at a stage in my grief yet that I am content with my loss. Contentment will come, when I meet my own goals, but I am at a stage to see that I am a part of the win. That without me there, the winners might not have done as well. They might have still won, but maybe without such an effort. Maybe they wouldn’t be as please with how hard they worked, but with me there I set a fire under them and lead them to know they can push themselves into new directions in life and it will be rewarding.
So, where do I go from here? I cried about that too. I wasn’t sure at first; I didn’t know how to keep going without the prize and victory I had expected to follow me through the rest of this. But, the real prize came to me in forgiveness and love. These two things brought on such a huge emotional moment for me, that I realized that I can forgive myself and others and love all the hard work I have done without any conditions put on it. I can do this for myself and bring along those I love with me to make this journey even more rewarding. The real prize is at the end; this finish line, not in the middle. I am not done!
I have so much more work to do, why would I think this what the end of the line? I have lose skin problems and I am not even at my goal weight. So, to the gym I go to keep on the path of making my body a temple. I posted at the top what my predicted weight would be if I hit my target BMI, giving me 28 pounds to lose still. That’s a good starting point for me I think. Let’s get to the healthy stage of this, and then keep going! I will work to lose 30 pounds (let’s just make it an even number) in 12 weeks or by my birthday (June 15th). This is 2.5 pounds a week, nothing I can’t accomplish already, right? I will NOT be going to the gym 4 hours a day for 6 days a week. Some days are going to be harder workouts then others, and I’m going to allow life to be in charge of what days those are. I might have to take a night off for family or allow myself some more rest. I’m not going to go at warp-speed this time, but I will continue to go just above the speed limit and find my own victory.